The Unknown Pain
by Stupidusernamepolicy
Summary: Izaya Orihara loves making suicide pacts with desparate female teens and saving them to make him think that he's a God. But what happens when a big hole in his plans makes him actually kill someone? How will he cope with the fact he's directly responsible for one's death? God can grant and save lives, but also has to take them... Angst, may be depressive or triggering to some.
1. The Failed Rescue

_**The Unknown**_

 _ **Pain**_

* * *

 **A/N: Hey guys! Yes, I'm not dead, cancel the party… XD Again another fanfiction… Possibly (and originally planned as) one-shot, but you never know with me. I'm prone to longer stories so yeah, let's see how that goes…**

 **Inspired an AMV; Song** _ **"Sarcasm"**_ **by** _ **"Get Scared"**_ **. Durarara AMV by** _ **"Brooke Davis"**_ **, YouTube.**

 **May be a bit OOC (Out Of Character) at times, so sorry. :p**

 **And SORRY for not updating on other Fanfictions, I'm facing a creativity blockade… So I'm doing this to satisfy you meanwhile.**

 **Now anyways, enough of the long intro, LET'S GET STARTED!**

* * *

 _Izaya Orihara?_

 _Ah, one of the most infamous people of Ikebukuro and Shinjuku… If you asked most of the people, They'd say it'd be better to stay away from him._

 _They all say, he's cruel, he's weird, he's one of the many devils of Tokyo, but can you really judge by its covers?_

 _At the first sight, he's got nothing to lose; no real friends, no significant one, and family that doesn't even like him that much. With that, the enemies he could count whole day and still not count them all._

 _But under that skin, he has a human side, that he wouldn't admit_ _ **even if it cost him his life**_ _. Not to someone else, but to himself. However, it was going to happen one day, even though he avoided thinking about it. The fateful moment, that came sooner than expected…_

 _ **It's the story of Izaya Orihara's loss.**_

* * *

"Ah, what to say, Namie-san?" the informant suddenly spoke, moving the pieces on his strange mix of board games, "I just love humans"

The female that was currently in kitchen just sighed, "If I knew you'd be doing another rant today, I'd take an aspirin before coming here…"

The informant just ignored her completely and continued talking, even more loudly:

"They're so interesting! So entertaining! This city too, it's full of humans, interesting little inadequate lives! It's like a play, set up for me!" he finished in tone full of excitement and leaned his head back over the sofa, silent and seemingly in bliss.

Namie waited for a few seconds, she was almost sure it was over, but she got her hopes up too early and even frowned when she heard that annoying voice again:

"Hey, Namie-san? Are you listening?" he said in a much calmer tone, almost like a curious child.

"What is it?" she suppressed her anger and replied in the calmest tone she could bring herself to make.

"Don't you love humans too? Besides your beloved Seji?" he knew he hit a low spot and smirked only slightly, waiting for her response

"Who would I else love? It's not like you're a much of a loveable person yourself, and I'm with you most of the time." she continued, still angry, knowing her opportunity to return a low kick, "Of course, only example is when you walk off to somewhere and leave me with an abnormal amount of work-"

"Ah, that's right Namie-san!" he interrupted her cheerfully, "It's almost my time to go, I've got a client waiting!"

The young raven haired man jumped onto his feet, grabbing his fur-lined coat, and left the apartment.

Namie was even more annoyed by that and continued cooking, murmuring to herself

"Me and my big mouth…"

* * *

Izaya got off the _Bullet_ train, skipping off to Ikebukuro. It was time for his favorite amusement, besides taunting Shizuo Heiwajima; The fake suicide pacts.

It may seem a completely insane or inappropriate hobby, but for Izaya it was only a way of proving that he's even more of a God; He was saving desperate, depressed girls, and giving them a chance for a new life, by making them experience the fear of near death. Even though he mostly did it for reactions, he wasn't completely selfish; After all, it'd be a serious crime if he was to taunt the or let them drop down, get killed by the kidnappers, etc.

He walked down the street with his usual grin spread across his face. He was rather careless, he supposed not even his Shizu-chan could spot him, hidden in with the crowd. Even though he didn't call Celty for help today, he was confident about this one,

 _"Why would I need Celty? Everything will turn out just fine, as always!"_

He soon reached the famous building from which many jumped and took their lives; that's his favorite meeting place. He climbed to the rooftop and waited for the girl to show up;

He didn't wait long.

A girl, supposedly 16 years old with long light brown hair and yellow brownish eyes, stepped onto the roof and immediately noticed the young informant, despite his dark clothing.

Izaya immediately noticed her and raised his look to inspect her. The color of her eyes amused him; they were the same color as Shizuo's.

"Ah, Madame Oni, I suppose?" He smiled a fake sad smile, greeting her, "It's nice to finally meet you.."

"Same.." The girl spoke a low tone, looking at the informant.

"So, let's get this over with," Izaya replied in a tired voice, then gave the girl a slightly sharper look, "Unless, there's something else you want to say?"

"We said everything to each other in the Chatrooms, didn't we?"

"Ah right, the Chatrooms." Izaya was already liking her. Everyone else he had saved was always eager to bore him with sad and tragic stories that were reasons why they wanted to die, but she didn't, and didn't plan on doing so; That girl was entirely different. She wouldn't go so far to call her cold, but rather calm. That wanted made him curious, that girl didn't look like she had any reason to kill herself; she wasn't crying, she wasn't looking sad, she didn't have self-harm traces or signs of any abuse, she looked healthy and rather satisfied. Then why?

He walked closer to the edge of the rooftop, "Say, there's one thing you haven't told me yet…" he looked down to ever so familiar dried out blood splotch with a slight smirk, "Why is it exactly you want to kill yourself?"

After a long minute of silence the girl spoke

"I'm tired of this place."

"Hm?" He turned and looked over to her, rather confused by the response. At first he thought she already gave up.

"I'm tired of this life. Everything is so boring, so hollow, planned.. You have to get good grades to get into a good middle, then high school.. Then good qualifications for a good job, on which you waste your life onto and grow to hate it.. You might get or not get kids, then might get or not get kids… There's really no adventure, no thrill, no fun at all. All are just high expectations and tons of rules. It makes me sick."

Izaya couldn't hold back laughter and let out a small chuckle with his lips bending into a deviant, even slightly disturbing smirk,

"I know exactly the feeling… But, it's not all black and white as you see it." he said, jumping over the loose metal fence and walking on the very edge of the rooftop, "Boring life, boring things… Try to find some amusement in it! All those fun adventures you seek, science fiction. Try to make up an adventure on your own, like novelists do…"

"It still isn't the same thing.." she spoke but was interrupted by the informant

"It isn't and never will be if you look at it with such pessimism… If you're so worried about being stuck in an office for lifetime, try something more interesting, like rocket science, or whatever floats your boat!" He said, sounding overly amused, "But, if you still want to end your life here, then fine~.. Besides, you look like you have a will and desire to live.. A precious gift given to you, and you're going to throw it away because of such a petty problem?"

The girl looked at him even more confused; she thought this was just a suicide pact. She frowned at thought of being tricked and walked over to him.

"I'm being serious here! Life isn't a joke!"

"If you enjoy it as much as I do then it is" he replied, giving her an amused glare, smirking his famous sharp yet somehow soft smirk, "But I'm still not satisfied… I want to see the lives of other people, they are so amusing, they make my life even more amusing by being a part of it! And you seem like an interesting story yourself"

brownish yellow eyes locked into reddish brown,

"It would be such a shame if such a story was to go to waste, now wouldn't it?"

The brunette was completely silent, what Izaya thought was enough of signal that she was off Death's list for now.

But then, a horrifying anticlimax to his expectations happened.

He was pushed down to the ground by the girl who then proceeded to yell at him,

"How can you say something like that!? My story isn't an 'amusing' one! If I hate something it's when people trick me! You just called me over here to stop me from doing what I need to!"

She walked over to the edge with a greatly confused male staring at her; nobody ever reacted that way before. It would've been too little to say he was surprised and shocked.

"I was serious about the boring life part, I don't want to live it, and there is a big chance I wouldn't live up to there anyways." she turned to him with a calm, but sad look on face "I'm diagnosed with an almost untreatable brain tumor, I have maximum a year to live. I'd rather finish it here and now, than to suffer from monstrous headaches until I finally die!"

"Even so, There is still a way to-"

"No." She interrupted him, dangerously leaning over the fence, threatening to lose balance and fall off any moment "I do not want to die in pain. I'm ending this poor written story toda-"

Just when she lost her balance she realized that someone had gripped her wrist;

Izaya catched her

Even though it took him a while, he regained himself and stopped her before doing that horrible mistake.

"You said it was _almost_ untreatable, not impossible to treat. Just because of such a tiny spot that can be removed, you want to kill yourself." he chuckled rather coldly, "I pity you. It's funny- No, _ironical_ , because, it was you who said it just a minute ago, life isn't a joke."

He waited for no more than a few seconds before speaking again

"Do you see that red-brown dried out puddle down there? Those are many people who threw themselves to death over petty reasons, those are people who didn't know to value their life. Sure, they maybe had smaller problems than you did, are you seriously going to join those naïve things and become just another splatter of blood and brains, with a tiny spot that no one would see what was the reason you killed yourself?"

"…." She was just staring at it before Izaya pulled her up

"You see, life's all about how you spend it, and your life span seems to be long after you have that tiny brat removed. After all, if you die on the operation table, you'll die painlessly, and your family might even get money back for a fruitless and unfortunate outcome of the surgery, so why not wait?"

"… Why won't you leave me alone already? What do you care about me anyways?"

"Because you're an interesting person that I would like to see a few more times at the very least"

She just sighed, "You won't leave me alone until I agree not to commit suicide?"

"You finally figured it out" he replied in now a careless tone.

"I can't promise anything but I won't kill myself tonight, that enough for you?"

"For now."

".. Not gonna work…" she leaned onto the fence

Izaya's eyes widened, that fence was loose.

 _Too loose_

The girl he put so much effort into talking out of suicide, was now falling into her death again.

He tried catching her once again, like last time, but it was too late. Last thing he saw before she fell was her mimicking "bye"

Only moments after that, there was a quiet crack noise, and it was just enough to for Izaya to know,

 _He screwed up_

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, that's the first out of planned three chapters! Yeah, yeah, I know I said this was going to be an one-shot, but I is, as it's always with me, a change of plans.**

 **Next two ones are the girl's look on the story and aftermath for Izaya. It shouldn't take too much but in any case, prepare for some waiting.**

 **That's all, see ya! ^^**


	2. Madame Oni's POV

**A/N: Here I am! Sorry that it took me such a long time to update, I had a lot work to school, my mom was often using my computer to go to Facebook, and the fact that the time when I usually went on computer was the time when The Simpsons always started, so my schedule was a mess. Sorry for that, everyone, but this time for real. Like, real, honest apologize I rarely give to anyone.**

 **Anyways, that aside, let's dig in! Today's story is the one of the girl with honey eyes and brown hair, more known as Madame Oni.**

* * *

 _ **Unknown Pain**_

 _ **Pt.2**_

 _ **Madame Oni's Story**_

 _My name's Yuri Hamada._

 _I'm 15 years old girl, that dislikes my destiny to point of hating the thought of what my life will look like. Always fighting for something, good grades, good job, that many people fear to lose; Working self to death wasn't, and still isn't a rare thing in Japan._

 _The only way to escape is ending your life, swiftly and painlessly._

 _I know I have nothing to complain about, I've had a fine life, a normal family, a few friends, but this style of living just doesn't feel right._

 _Life will grow to become boring struggle for money and survival one way or another. Hell, it already is, no matter how you look at it._

 _It disgusts me._

 _That's why, today, I'm ending it before it starts._

"Tadaima.." Yuri said as she entered her parents' apartment, closing the doors behind her

"Okaeri, Yuri" Her mother greeted her with her usual question, "How was in school today?"

"It was fine, nothing special." She said as she slowly walked to her room.

"Ah, okay then. Aren't you hungry? I made teriyaki and roasted vegetables."

"I'll eat later, I've got a lot homework to do" she said entering her room and closing the doors. She threw her bag into the corner of her room and changed from her school uniform into a pink t-shirt and light blue shorts to her knees, then threw herself on bed and took out her mobile phone.

 _ **Madame Oni entered the chatroom**_

 _ **Madame Oni:**_ _"Hello.."_

 _ **Nakamura:**_ _"Ah, hello, Madame Oni, does our appointment for tonight still hold?"_

 _ **Madame Oni:**_ _"Yes. Top of that Sunshine Street building…"_

 _ **Nakamura:**_ _"Very well, I'll be waiting for you there at 11:23 PM."_

 _ **Madame Oni:**_ _"Yeah. See you there.."_

The girl closed her phone and glanced over to the digital clock on her bedside table.

06:50 PM

 _"Just a little bit longer… And I'll get out of this hell.."_

* * *

11:01 PM

 _"I'd better get going now.."_ She thought as she grabbed her small bag and slid out through the window. Her apartment was on the first floor of a 30 floor building. She had pretty strong legs, so even a fall from the first floor, which was still pretty high, was nothing for her.

She walked through the streets of Ikebukuro, looking around and wondering what it will be like after death, and got even a bit sad when she realized that she will never see those lights again. But there was no turning back now.

Shortly after she made it to the rooftop. She looked at her watch;

11:20

* * *

 _And then I saw him. The man that made a suicide pact with me. Though, I felt it, I saw it in his eyes, that wasn't his intention. No, he was up to something more deviant. I figured, and was right, that I'd have to lie to him._

 _I felt a bit bad when making up a shameless lie about brain tumor. I knew people were suffering from it, many people, and I used it as an excuse for my selfish suicide._

 _He really went at it, he tried his best to stop me. But all that made me only want to prove him wrong. I wanted to die, to leave this so called life behind._

 _And he almost succeeded. I thought that he'd at least give me a few words of comfort, but all I saw was him reaching into his pocket. I felt a slight breeze that made me feel woozy for a second and then I realized;_

 _He was going to drug me, probably to get me back home. What he was trying was nothing more than a mockery of my problems. Even though people might not call it that, they don't even realize what their lives are going to turn out to be. We all die to be freed from here, and I'm going to break out before things could get worse; if not only because of this longed escape, but to prove him wrong._

 _Our lives aren't jokes, they are not just figures he can play around._

 _We're living people._

 _That was when I noticed, the fence I was leaning to was loose. Finally, a chance to get away from him and this poorly created life._

 _I hit the fence with my back as hard as I could and I fell over along with it. All I could make out was his terrified face. I muttered a quiet "bye" and smiled as I fell._

 _I'll never see these lights again, I'll probably never see anyone I knew ever again. The thought saddened me, but I also felt a huge relief._

 _By this, thought, I fell. I'm hurting all over, but it started to go numb shortly after I hit the ground._

 _Then I realized, I had a thought that brought me peace._

 _I'll never feel pain ever again_

With that thought, The girl closed her eyes, only to never open them again, while russet brown eyes stared at what remained of her form in terror.

* * *

 **A/N: Hey guys! I finally updated this one too. Just one remains to update, then they'll all probably go to hiatus. In Friday I'm going to my family's summer house for a while.**

 **This was Yuri's POV, next one is aftermath for Izaya who has to cope with that he actually failed, and is partly in fault for her death.**

 **As usual, needless to say, I own nothing and no one except Yuri.**

 **See ya!**


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